Conquer the Days You Don't Feel Good About Yourself
We all have those days, where we don't feel good about ourselves nor the power of our voice. I am going to show you how to change those emotions and thoughts. I am going to show you how to ‘do you.’ By that I mean, I am going to show you how to empower yourself and find back your voice. To ‘do you’ means to be authentically yourself and to treat yourself.
A lot of times we get so caught up in what everyone else wants us to be that we forget who we are. We have those days when we don't know what we want or where we want to go in life, or (heck) even who we are. We look in the mirror and we don't even recognize ourselves. We are just existing and not living.
But what if I told you that those days are actually the best days to ‘do you?’
When you don't know what you want or who you are, it means that you have the opportunity to find out. There is no better way to find out than by being curious about what makes you tick and what doesn't. So in this post, I'm going to share with you some tips on how to ‘do you’ without feeling guilty or like you're not good enough.
Do You:
1. Find what makes you happy: This is so important. If you're not happy with who you are or what you're doing, then you need to find something that makes you happy. It doesn't matter what other people think, as long as you're happy with yourself. Do you know what makes you happy? If not, that's okay. The important thing is that you take the time to figure it out. Let’s start with a simple, daily mediation.
What makes us happy comes from how we show up inside of ourselves. How we feel inside comes from the brilliant and intellectual matter between our ears, down to the energy center, of the heart within our chests. We have to know and love ourselves simultaneously. We have to feel it to know it, we have to know it to feel it.
Are we listening to that inner voice? Are we listening to that inner inner child, the one in a temper tantrum because of a trauma we have not worked through yet? Are we being kind to ourselves or are we kicking ourselves for something that we shoulda, coulda, woulda? Are we showing up from a place of someone else's judgment or expectation?
Joy came to me in the death of my ego and the birth of my authentic self. It is this transformative moment that I go back to when any thoughts of inadequacy come into my space. I have named my inner critic Nanette. When she speaks, I barely give her a word and interrupt her by saying "No, no, Nanette! This is not the time nor the space for you. I am safe and I am worthy. I am of value. I am love and I am loved! And most of all, I am here to be of service."
These words fill my heart with gratitude, appreciation, and forgiveness. They allow me to enter my highest vibration and allow me to be filled with the pure joy of living.
2. Be confident: This is something that a lot of people struggle with, but it's so important. If you're not confident in yourself, then how can you expect anyone else to be?
How do you trust yourself and your intuition? How can you be confident in your decisions and the person you are? What fears are holding you back? Fear is an acronym for, "false evidence appearing real."
I am afraid of publicly selling myself and my abilities. When I try, 'Nanette' steps in and her voice distracts me. My blood pressure goes up, my heart starts to race, and my stomach cramps. I turn to flight mode.
I have no issues nor fears in public forums. I can converse with just about anyone. What I fear is the selling of my services, not the conversation. I have to force myself through my fears and say what I am afraid to say, anyways. And have I died yet? Nope. I have stumbled across words and made loads of bloopers. But, with each moment, with each mistake, I have learned and gotten better. The evidence shows that I will not die from trying to sell. That’s great news! Has this ever been the case with you?
Fear is of the mind. The next time it shows up, ask yourself “Is this false evidence appearing real?” If the answer is ‘yes’ then move forward. Face the fear. The worst that could happen is that it doesn't work this time, this way. So, you try again and/or you try something different. As we practice, we will grow and discover new things that will boost our confidence. As we practice, it will get easier.
3. Love yourself: Similar to confidence, if you don't love yourself, then how can you expect others to. Learn to love yourself.
How do we go about loving ourselves? For me, it started with forgiveness. I had to forgive myself and I had to forgive others. By forgiving myself, I learned to re-love myself; for my flaws, my mistakes and my lacks. I had to forgive those that trespassed against me and to forgive my abusers, my naysayers, my judges, and my life killers.
I also had to forgive my part in hurting loved ones and causing BIG trauma in other people's lives. I had to take 100% responsibility for all of my actions, and my words. I had to relearn lessons like "think before you speak," , "listen before you talk," "be mindful of others' space and time." Many of these lessons I still struggle with.
What has helped me through my struggles, is a technique Jack Canfield taught and that I have used EVERY DAY this year (2022). It is called the mirror exercise. It goes like this:
First, while standing in front of a mirror, look directly into your eyes. Try not to deviate but, from experience, I know it's tough.
Second, while looking into your eyes say:
I, {Insert your name here} am amazing and worthy of everything I desire in this life and beyond. I truly accept and love myself just exactly as I am. I am so grateful for my life today as it is fleeting and precious. I appreciate {name the people and things you appreciate in your life now or that you want for the future}
Finally, repeat as needed.
If you need some suggestions for things you appreciate here is what I have said
I appreciate my children, I appreciate the people I have met since I started my podcast, my guests, my new friends and my old friends, lovers and haters; those who are a part of my circle and community, and the lessons they are all here to share with me; those known and those unknown; I appreciate the things, big and small, that I have in my life: from the mirror I am looking at myself in and the house it hangs in, to the running water, to the sky that brings me such joy to watch in all its glory, to the robin who built her nest in my tree, to the retreat I am holding space for this December because it is my service to this world.
Learning to love yourself in your vessel from the inside out comes with a daily ritual of acceptance. It comes from a connection you formulate with a Higher Power (or Divine Universe Source) that generates a spark you can follow to the full-blown over-the-moon pure unconditional love.
Just remember that you're beautiful and worthy of love. And remember to just ‘do you.’
Thanks for reading! And if you need more inspiration or would like to connect, check out www.wrarinc.com for more blogs, videos, podcasts and EXPERIENCES like no other!